Individual Coaching
Health | Relationships | Money | CareerLet’s cause peace beginning with you.
Health
Explore the spiritual, emotional root cause of the signals your body is sending.
STORY
Relationships
Life happens in relationship, every human we interact with a reflective surface.
STORY
Money
The pursuit of love disguised as money and other experiences we long for.
STORY
Career
Make a difference, honour who you were born to be.
STORY
Causing Peace, One Conversation At A Time
Deep Down Inside You Know It’s Time to Make a Change, And Yet You’re Stuck In the Cycle of “How”
That “how” cycle is the perfect distraction to keep you stuck for a very long time. Perhaps you tell yourself that once you figure it out, then you’ll make your move but the objections in your head always arrive, fast and strong and once again you back away from the edge of what might be possible for you. What does your body know that your mind is fighting?
Examples of Coaching Engagements
I'd like to build my business to a place where it is thriving.
Sometimes this is a trick statement with clients and we must first define what thriving means to them. I’ll spend some time with facts and figures but I’m more interested in the experience clients long for. What’s the thing you thought you’d experience when you first dreamed this business into being?
I'd like to turn up the volume in my leadership and cause our non profit to hit fundraising goals we've never hit before.
My tail started to wag when I typed that question… I love this one for any situation, be it non profit, private enterprise… We think that turning up the volume on our leadership will be the answer to it all. If only I were more powerful, more intelligent, more creative then I’d be able to achieve x, y and z. Achieving this one will require you to shift your leadership but not in the way you’re thinking.
I'd like to communicate authentically, which means standing up to some harsh critics and walking through some fire in order to cause much needed policy change.
I love the charged language in this Intended Result, “harsh critic”, “stand up to”, “walk through fire”. It already tells a story of a particular way this individual experiences their world and before even speaking with them, provides me with some areas to explore with them when it comes up during our session. What makes me so sure it will come up? Oh, it will, there’s something behind the use of such colourful language.
I'm thinking of getting a divorce, I'm uncertain and scared that I'm giving up too soon.
Awww, I’ve coached many individuals and couples on the verge of divorce. I love this work, it’s definitely heart work, sometimes still ends in divorce. If I’m involved it will be a peaceful, healthy outcome and sometimes generating that doesn’t take require all parties to be involved. There are so many ways to go with this particular objective, one possible exploration might be for the individual to own that they’d “given up” a while ago and we’d explore what “giving up” really means. Ontological work is extremely powerful in the domain of communication and relationships.
How Do I know If You Are The Right Coach For Me?
Such a great question! Think about the unique traits your coach will need to have to cause the breakthrough you know deep down inside you’re ready for. You know you intimately, you know your stops and you’ll be able to predict how this is going to go. What will you need in order to truly cause what might feel impossible?
In the next column you’ll see some unique traits that I think are important to consider when hiring a coach.
Unique Trait #1 - Partner
You’ll want a coach who truly partners. If you think about partnering, neither party has authority over the other. There is mutual respect and trust that is continuously generated during the course of the relationship. No, “I know better than you”. No, “teacher/student” dynamic. No, “let me just tell you the answer”. It might help to think about us standing side by side, elbow to elbow, looking at the horizon that is your future, together. You are always the boss of you and you drive the coaching agenda.
Unique Trait #2 - Deep Listening
In the ontological world the ability to deeply listen means observing in a unique way the dynamic interrelationship between your language, emotions and body and the coherent way those form your way of being. Your way of being informs how you observe and create meaning. This is a deep subject that is better experienced than necessarily explained! You’ll want a coach who is able to pick up on all the hidden clues you drop in each of the three domains as you interact with the world, this is the secret sauce and access to a whole new world awaits.
Unique Trait #3 - Bold
A coach must be willing to say what they see, hear or feel even if it risks the relationship. Coaches are paid and trained to explore the uncomfortable and that’s potentially where your most profound breakthroughs will be caused. Being bold isn’t as easy at it might sound and no, it isn’t about being a jerk to you. A bold challenge or question is love based and delivered in a way that takes you to the edge of the thing you’ve perhaps been resisting or avoiding. The challenge maybe has you dangling over the edge, and may cause a tumult of emotion. Your coach should be able to stand with you, be with any strong emotion that shows up while partnering and exploring the experience with you.
Unique Trait #4 - Transparent
I’ve done some of my best coaching from sharing, “I’m stuck”, “I’m confused”, “I’m not following”. And… my clients and I have shared spine tingling sessions from, “I’m working through grief today” or “I notice I just made myself wrong for asking that question.” Done in a responsible, trained way (don’t leak all over your clients), transparency can deepen intimacy, create safety and space for a client’s own humanity. It can also break up any power dynamic that might be brewing, adoration, putting your coach on a pedestal, judgment, opinion (to name only a few) and provide some fabulous pathways to self exploration.
Unique Trait #5 - Present
Find a coach that is fully committed to doing their own personal work who are coached, supervised, see a therapist, take ongoing training and seek spiritual guidance and experiences. And… are fully committed to the traits mentioned here, doing whatever it takes to show up powerfully for your sessions, to be the shiny reflective surface so you can do the work. Back in the day we used to wear quiet clothing in addition to quietening our way of being before sessions. In amazing coaching sessions you’ll barely notice the coach except for the zinger questions that cause you to run down a rabbit hole of self discovery and have you reflecting for days.
Compassionate Curiosity
Think back to when you very small, exploring and discovering the world. Observing with pure curiosity, bringing a childlike wonder to every stone you unturned, every bug you examined.
Bring back that curiosity as you become an observer of your thoughts and actions. Let go of blame, judgment, harshness or criticism and regard yourself and your behaviours with compassion and kindness.
How we see and experience ourselves, others and the world determines what we see as problems, possibilities and/or solution. This process can deliver remarkable insight and lead us into a whole new way of existing.
How It Works
Schedule a Free 1:1
This is your opportunity to experience the magic and power of ontological coaching. Walk away with insight, momentum, clarity and inspiration. Experience the difference between this and other forms of coaching.
See If We're a Fit
Coaching is best engaged in when the coach is the right fit for you. It’s good practice to have sessions with several different coaches before choosing. Select the one that has you somewhat uncomfortable and yet intrigued to explore more.
Reach Your Goals
What you truly desire may be somewhat buried underneath circumstances and stories. What are you resisting, avoiding and/or pretending you can’t have? Together we will shift the stories and change your life.