Causing Peace, One Conversation At A Time
Deep Down Inside You Know It’s Time to Make a Change, And Yet You’re Stuck In the Cycle of “How”
That “how” cycle is the perfect distraction to keep you stuck for a very long time. Perhaps you tell yourself that once you figure it out, then you’ll make your move but the objections in your head always arrive, fast and strong and once again you back away from the edge of what might be possible for you. What does your body know that your mind is fighting?
Examples of Coaching Engagements
I'd like to build my business to a place where it is thriving.
Sometimes this is a trick statement with clients and we must first define what thriving means to them. I’ll spend some time with facts and figures but I’m more interested in the experience clients long for. What’s the thing you thought you’d experience when you first dreamed this business into being?
I'd like to turn up the volume in my leadership and cause our non profit to hit fundraising goals we've never hit before.
My tail started to wag when I typed that question… I love this one for any situation, be it non profit, private enterprise… We think that turning up the volume on our leadership will be the answer to it all. If only I were more powerful, more intelligent, more creative then I’d be able to achieve x, y and z. Achieving this one will require you to shift your leadership but not in the way you’re thinking.
I'd like to communicate authentically, which means standing up to some harsh critics and walking through some fire in order to cause much needed policy change.
I love the charged language in this Intended Result, “harsh critic”, “stand up to”, “walk through fire”. It already tells a story of a particular way this individual experiences their world and before even speaking with them, provides me with some areas to explore with them when it comes up during our session. What makes me so sure it will come up? Oh, it will, there’s something behind the use of such colourful language.
I'm thinking of getting a divorce, I'm uncertain and scared that I'm giving up too soon.
Awww, I’ve coached many individuals and couples on the verge of divorce. I love this work, it’s definitely heart work, sometimes still ends in divorce. If I’m involved it will be a peaceful, healthy outcome and sometimes generating that doesn’t take require all parties to be involved. There are so many ways to go with this particular objective, one possible exploration might be for the individual to own that they’d “given up” a while ago and we’d explore what “giving up” really means. Ontological work is extremely powerful in the domain of communication and relationships.
Think back to when you very small, exploring and discovering the world. Observing with pure curiosity, bringing a childlike wonder to every stone you unturned, every bug you examined.
Bring back that curiosity as you become an observer of your thoughts and actions. Let go of blame, judgment, harshness or criticism and regard yourself and your behaviours with compassion and kindness.
How we see and experience ourselves, others and the world determines what we see as problems, possibilities and/or solution. This process can deliver remarkable insight and lead us into a whole new way of existing.