Last week I noticed a grey blanket of fog over my creativity. I had great ideas that popped and then went out like a match struck in the rain. A funk hovered over the course of five days almost imperceptible until it became glaringly obvious. I started writing many times then stopped, I took photos for Instagram but minutes later was uninspired by them. Emotionally flat, devoid of inspiration, passion and creativity and craving sleep… oh so much sleep or alternatively coffee craving, anticipating the adrenaline hit that never came. I even thought about a famous poet I used to live beside who in his earlier years hit the bottle to stimulate his writing but quickly tossed that thought aside.
Normalizing Your Experience
I reflected that the blanket of fog, the flatness, was probably protection and emotional safety from the swirl of grief and change we’re adapting to. My body was tapping out. The tiredness was the impact of my participation in our now very virtual world devoid of those hits of oxytocin one might get shaking hands or exchanging a hug with colleagues. Read more about the Power of Hugging (Our team used to hug, did yours?) I was connecting, but the juice I give and receive in the virtual world just doesn’t compare to what I give and receive in the real world. I do change for a living and yet here I was surprised by my reaction. If you’ve been surprised by your own I want you to know that you’re not alone, there are many factors at work here and the remedy is to give yourself as much space as you need without judgment or blame. Esther Perel just wrote a powerful article called What Is This Feeling? Anticipatory Grief and Other New Pandemic-Related Emotions that will expand your understanding (as it did for me) of all the things we’re currently navigating and some things you can do to compensate.